In the words of one of the most famous female journalists of all time, Shana Alexander, “The mark of a true crush, Is that you fall in love first, And grope for reasons afterward.” I’m sure most or you are wondering what this has to do with being a medical student or applying to residency. And at this point, it’s a fair question. Rest assured, I will explain.
Most of us twenty-something’s and older have known, at one point or another, what it feels like to fall in love. It is process that involves a lot of time, thought and reflection, but it’s also an instinct, and very often, one that you get from the very first moment you meet that person. In my humble opinion, choosing a career in medicine is much the same.
Today, I would like to share with you a love story. One that took place in October 2007, the month I first met pediatric medicine. I had just come off my first clinical rotation (a family medicine rotation in Rwanda, which we will come back to another time), and my second rotation was to begin in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). When I got to the ward, I met with the attending Neonatologist who gave me my patient assignments. I had spent the previous night reading about how to examine the newborn and so, I walked over to my first patient and went to work. She weighed no more than 1.5 kilograms and barely filled half of her little incubator. After having thoroughly washed my hands, I reached inside to feel her little abdomen. As I pushed down ever so gently to see if her belly was soft or firm, she smiled. For a quick second, I ignored the fact that babies of that age do not yet possess the ability to smile spontaneously, and I convinced myself that she must like me. Of course, reality set back in when I realized that my ever so gentle push helped dislodge some gas that had probably been making her uncomfortable for quite some time. I then grabbed my little stethoscope and listened to her heart and lungs. I found myself having to re-listen over and over again as I kept getting distracted by how cute she was. Finally, as I finished the exam she grabbed onto my finger and squeezed as tight as she could. Granted, that was a reflex, but I was still reasonably confident that we had bonded.
I then went on to examine my other patients. Although they were all quite different, the bond that I felt after leaving each and every one of them was the same. I was on call that night, and I was not at all bothered about having to stay. In fact, I really didn’t want to leave. In addition to dealing with all of the medical issues that came up that night, I also spent time holding and feeding my patients. I didn’t want to go to sleep; I didn’t want to leave them; I was falling in love.
Over the next eight weeks of my pediatric rotation and through my four clinical electives in pediatrics, I came up with all kinds of reasons to justify my love. Today, I sit as confident and comfortable with those feelings as I have with any other in my life.
And so here I am, in love and waiting to hear which schools will decide to interview me and give me the opportunity to pursue my passion. In the words of the famous British Philosopher Bertrand Russell, ”It’s easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you.”